What about the adults? The holidays mean a little less of that Christmas magic for those of us over 18 (well shoot, usually over 12, but for legal purposes, I’ll stick with that whole legal-to-smoke age reference). A little less magic and a whole lot of crowded shopping centers, never-ending register lines, and a frantically shrinking pocket book.

Not that I’m a grinch. I love getting wrapped up in the spirit of giving, cooking, baking, and snow ball fighting. But it’s rare that some unrelated person puts a lot of effort into a thoughtful gift for those of us on the “Nice” list.

Wait, wait! Uhle’s does!

Down in Uhle’s own South Pole, months before that one soft-rock radio station becomes “All Christmas, All the Time”, a certain someone, with a familiar twinkle in his eye (and a familiar Kringle forename to boot), begins his gifting journey.

First, he ponders the holiday taste he’d like to honor. Pie? Maybe. Sweets? Getting warmer. Mashed Potatoes? Yeah, about that…..

Dish or treat decided, he peruses the tobaccos available, ordering samples with which to “cook”.

Much like any art form, this next step is the most trying: pinning down the perfect recipe. To get it right, he must work through trial and error. His cohorts are put to the task of joining in this sampling-go-round. With the proper feedback and sampling under belt, he finalizes the recipe in pen. Orders the necessary ingredients. And waits.

The wait isn’t long, as much is still needed. Phone calls are made to a beloved printer. Her part is none too small. By her hand, labels are designed, postcards are printed, and the project can continue.

Tobacco in hand, Mr. Kringle blends, packages, and labels hundreds of gifts for his loyal tobacco-smoking following. The postcards are mailed, and the season of giving begins.

Our gift to you, our adult followers: Uhle’s Christmas Blend 2010 tobacco! This year’s blend was fashioned after the seasonal Mozartkugel chocolate. It’s a nice balance of sweet and indulgent. And it’s yours if you want it, “Naughty” or “Nice”. Consider it a stocking stuffer from the Uhle’s South Pole.

[Enter Dave]

Dave:  What can I help you with?

Mick turns with a look of bewilderment and confusion.

Mick:  Uh…..well……I was thinking about picking up pipe smoking, but I’m just a college student.  I can’t afford something too expensive.

Dave:  Oh, no problem!  You can start with a corncob pipe for only five bucks!

Mick sighs again.

Mick:  I guess……isn’t it a little tacky?

Dave chuckles.

Dave:  There’s nothin’ wrong with a corncob.  But I hear ya.  How about an estate pipe?

Mick:  Huh?

Dave:  An estate pipe.  We buy estate collections of pipes from people who quit smoking or or have inherited pipes they don’t need.  I sanitize them, buff out the stem and bowl, and they look like new!  You get a great pipe for an excellent price.

Dave points to the Estate Pipe case.  Mick riffles through and ends up pulling out a handful of pipes.

Mick:  This is great!  I’ll take these three!

Dave:  Neat.  Here-hands Mick a slip of paper-Check out our Ebay store.  I put about a dozen estate pipes up for auction at a time here.

Mick’s look of bewilderment has transformed into one of childlike joy.  After some more discussion, he picks up a pocket of Black Stoker, Irish Aromatic, and Blend 71 to try.  Dave walks him through the basics of pipe smoking, and he settles into the Smoking Lounge to enjoy his first bowl of pipe tobacco.

[End Scene]

Note from Dave:  Here at Uhle’s we purchase used/estate pipe collections and offer free appraisals.  When we get them in, I clean them, ream them, and buff them to look like new!  If your interested in a great starter pipe or a collectible that won’t break the bank, stop on in or check out our online store at Ebay.com .

So if you have some pipes just layin’ around, we’d love to have a looksee.  It’s worth  money to us!

The cigar smoking man.  He is usually portrayed as a suave and debonair part of society, a James Bond for the real-world if you will.  Hollywood plays a large role in this association, serving up helping after helping of well dressed, dangerous-yet-successful men blowing smoke rings into the interior of their European sports cars as they race around some city I have yet to experience as they do.  These men are silver tongued with their women, usually just as sleek, fast and European as the cars.  These cigar smokers are tan, buff, well accessorized, dressed to the nines and always smoking the finest of top-dollar cigars.  Tough act to follow, no?

The pipe smoking man.  While a wholly different character for the role of smoking man, the shoes of this industry-designed man are no simpler to fill.  Pipe smoking man is sophisticated:  he has travelled the world, has solved major worldly problems with ease, is an accomplished author/PhD/mathematician, and speaks four languages fluently.  The pipe smoking man also averages 65 years on earth, sports at least a hint of silver or white in his hair, and loves his smoking chair.  This stereotype, while less aggressive, is nonetheless unattainable for 99% of tobacco smoking men.   

The real life male tobacco smokers are too varied to label.  They are anywhere from 18 to 88 years old.   Students, factory workers, professionals, artists, and the unknown all find pleasure in a carefully blended pipe tobacco or a hand rolled cigar.  Sometimes it is the pipe smoker with the silver tongue and the cigar smoker with the PhD.  Oftentimes you simply can’t tell, when popping into our lounge, just who is who. 

When it comes down to it, smoking man is simply that.  A man, tobacco in hand, creating a small cloud of enjoyment in his midst.

–Miss T

Want more?  Check out the “other perspective”, the female-smoker stereotype at www.myspace.com/uhletobacco (where you can find this blog’s original author)

If you haven’t tuned into the Wisconsin news lately, there are a few dark clouds brewing over the smoking industry:  our wonderful Gov. Doyle has brandished both guns, proposing a state wide smoking ban, and murder by tobacco taxes.  Apparently, the enjoyment of our legal tobacco habits has been deemed unacceptable, and our big brother has decided to put us in the corner:  the smoking ban proposal prohibits smoking in all public places:  bars, restaurants, hotels, and as it stands currently, even us smoking folks here at Uhle’s.  Despite the existence of non-smoking establishments across the state, those of us smokers who enjoy congregating at our favorite stools or pool tables are being ousted to the not-so-always-friendly outdoors, 20 feet from any public entrance.  Doyle is threatening to take the pleasure of a relaxing smoke out of our bowling tournaments, our scotches and wine, and our socializing altogether.

As if forcing smokers into second class citizenship weren’t enough, the Governor has also decided he wants to take more of our money because of our pasttime.  Not only are cigarettes to recieve up to a buck-twenty tax addition to the present day cost, but he has piggybacked other tobacco products tax (OTP) to the bill.  Those of us who enjoy pipe tobacco, cigars, chewing tobacco, rolling tobacco, snuff, and all other non-cigarette tobaccos already pay a 25% tax for our “habit”.  Snuck under the cigarette tax, the OTP tax increase would skyrocket our tax to 65.6%!  We will sadly watch all of our fine tobacco products incur a 40% price increase!

 Needless to say, folks, we are not taking these attacks sitting down.  Uhle’s is in cahoots with Americans for Prosperity, sending in petitions and letters of antagonism to every government official responsible for the future of the proposals.  Click on the button below to make your voice heard!

We are also in the process of planning a “Smokers Walk”; with a good sense of humor, of course, we plan on a brisk five-six block walk.  Keep an eye out for updates.

Smoke away, while you still can!

Misty

“ It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. ”

 ~Mark Twain

Help support Milwaukee’s Winner of the Hot Zippo Tour, 9mm Solution! You can cast your vote for them to win @ hotzippotour.com  You can meet the band themselves this Saturday!

So come on down to Uhle’s, enjoy a premium smoke, light up with a trusty Zippo, and jam with FM 102.1

For more information, visit http://www.fm1021milwaukee.com/events.asp

Jeff Steinbock has stepped up as owner of Uhle Tobacco Company.  A former co-owner with Jim, Jeff is eager to continue the Uhle’s legacy in the years to come.

 So let’s all raise our cigars, pipes, or cigarettes in celebration of past friendships, present accomplishments, and a future as bright as the fires we create.

 Perhaps the proper celebratory cigar would be the new Ashton ESG (Estate Sun Grown).  Look for the eye-catching box amongst its sibling Ashtons.

” A cigar is as good as the memories that you have when you smoked it.”-Raul Julia

Miss T

“A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.”

-Rudyard Kipling

I have a feeling this summer will bring much to talk about in the Smoking Lounge!

 Miss T

"If I cannot smoke cigars in heaven, I shall not go!"-Mark Twain