The Pipe Bit: Glossary #3: Basics

“They speak English in What?”

–Jules, Pulp Fiction

By Chris Rentner

           To many pipe smokers, blend terminology can be more confusing than the ret-conning of Saw V.  So in a continuing effort at clarity, here are some basic types of pipe tobacco, and how they are used in tobacco blends.

            Burley is in most blends.  It has a nutty but subtle flavor.  In aromatic blends, it is sometimes pressed and flavored (making it a Cavendish).  It’s used in English blends to give balance and a hint of natural tobacco taste.  When smoked, burley doesn’t smell too memorable, but this wonderfully adaptive blend component forms the base of many tobacco blends.

            Black Cavendish is a catch-all name for burley that has been pressed and flavored with a sweet, sort-of-vanilla topping.  Every tobacconist has at least one Black Cavendish blend; it’s very easy to smoke, flavorful but not overwhelming, and the room aroma is pleasant.  All tobaccos in this category are black and flavored, but differ by manufacturer in moisture content and taste.  A black cav may feel dry and smell like raisins (Toasted Black Cavendish from Altadis) or may be moist enough to stick to your hand and have the scent of vanilla icing (Vanilla Black Cavendish from McClelland).  In a blend, this can be used as a primary ingredient in an aromatic or to give just a hint of sweetness to a primarily English blend.

            Virginia tobaccos have dedicated fans that insist Virginia is the One True Pipe Tobacco.  In its most common form, this pale-yellow leaf tastes woody and slightly sweet.  Virginias can be “stoved”—exposed to very high heat.  This darkens the tobacco, and brings out even more of Virginia’s natural sweetness.  Virginias are used to add a bit of body and sugar to English blends, and are used in aromatics to compliment or enhance the blend’s flavors.

            Latakia smells like the smoke from a campfire.  That’s how it is traditionally produced—leaves are hung from a barn’s rafters, and a fire is lit under them, so the leaves absorb the smoky goodness.  The ultimate English tobacco, Latakia is a hallmark of “serious” non-aromatic blends.  It lends an earthy, meaty, savory richness when used in moderation in a mixture; but use too much, and it blots out all the other flavors.  Think of Latakia as cracked black pepper—a dash good, a handful too much.

            And then there’s Perique, a true oddball tobacco.  Ask your local (real) tobacconist to let you smell this right from the bag—it’s something every pipe smoker should try at least once.  Because Perique is the only tobacco that is fermented—as in, yes, fermenting a pickle.  Genuine Perique is made by pressing the tobacco (a special strain grown correctly only in Saint James’ Parish, Louisiana) and letting it stew in its oils and juices for a long length of time.  Perique is used in tiny amounts in English blends for a bit of a spicy kick.  Do not smoke Perique on its own—doing this has been compared, only half-jokingly, to having a lobotomy.

            There’s always more to know about pipe tobacco, and reviewing the basic tobaccos is a good starting point.  You can even try mixing your own blend—but easy on the Perique.

            Okay, so Detective Hoffman was really with Jigsaw the whole time….

           

           

The Pipe Bit: Las Vegas: The Red Piano, The Empty Pipe

By Chris Rentner

     Last year, Elton John did a series of shows in Las Vegas called The Red Piano. The poster for this presentation showed a nattily-clad John standing near said piano, situated in the mountains that border some of Vegas. The shot was taken at dusk, almost night, and the lights of the Strip glow far behind him. This picture encapsulates how I once felt as a pipe smoker in Las Vegas.

      On  my third trip to Vegas, in 2003, I packed some pipe tobacco in addition to my usual stash of cigars. My pipes were left at home because I was afraid they would break in transit. But no problem; I’d buy a pipe when I got there. After a few days of decadence, debauchery and smoking my Punch Chateau L double maduros, I missed the peace and reflection of a pipe. My long-suffering wife and I went to the high-end cigar store in a neighboring hotel, knowing this well-known tobacconist would have a variety of pipes available. I found out they didn’t carry pipes at that location.

     Their loss! We simply trammed over to another hotel’s smokeshop, one whose name was, happily, synonymous with fine pipes. Which they did not have. The next day, my long-suffering wife consented to go with me on a pipe hunt. And I finally did find one briar for sale on the Strip—one, as in the number of lifeboats that came back for Rose in Titanic. The retailer that offered it mostly sold cigars and a few pipe tobaccos; the solitary pipe was a couple hundred dollars and had an oxidized stem. I passed, then took my last shot, a sure bet: I went to the Walgreen’s across the street to buy a corn cob. They were sold out of corn cobs.

     I could have gone further off the Strip to a genuine smoke shop; but as a tourist, the Strip was Las Vegas to me. So I went without a pipe the entire trip. The reason for the pipeless Strip, some told me, had to do with the concern of casinos regarding gamblers using mirrored pipes to cheat at cards, or some such piffle. The real reason, I think, is more complicated.

      I love going to Vegas (the Strip); it’s an adult playground, and I feel a real sense of freedom and possibility. The constant activity and variety, while exciting, do not really inspire reflection and thought at the time. A pipe is built for thought, nuance and reflection—unlike Las Vegas. Maybe, as Wordsworth would have nodded, Vegas is best reflected on after a trip there, in solace and quiet, with a pipe. And that is how I once felt like Elton John: isolated but surrounded, outside the city but part of it. The next time I went to Vegas, I brought along a pipe.

Las Vegas is not a pipe smoking town;

Cigarettes and cigars spin wheels around;

Instead of briars, different thorns abound.

Las Vegas is not a pipe smoking town.

The Pipe Bit: Aromatique

By Chris Rentner

            Well, Valentine, the most romantic day of the year is approaching.  But since my wedding anniversary isn’t until August, let’s—reluctantly—address this Saturday, Valentine’s Day.

            It’s fine to buy some chocolates and flowers from one of the six businesses that survived 2008—the economy certainly needs some money, any money, spent.  As I am a shill for Big Tobacco (Uhle’s), however, allow me a suggestion that is less expensive and may be appreciated by your roommate/significant other/boo/contractual partner:  try a pouch of an aromatic pipe tobacco blend.  This suggestion is heresy to some smokers who only indulge in English blends, but in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, open your heart and let me explain.

            Scent is a powerful trigger of emotion.  Cookies baking, a roasting turkey, McDonald’s:  many important memories in our lives have a specific smell associated with them.  Aromatic pipe tobaccos specialize in smelling yummy.  Cherry, vanilla, rum, butterscotch, maple, even strawberries and cream—any flavor you can imagine (on the sweet side) is available.  A quality aromatic tastes approximately like the pouch aroma, so you can get a good idea of how it will taste from its scent.

            The room aroma of aromatics—the scent of the pipe smoke in the air—may appeal to your housemate.  Give aromatics a try this Valentine’s Day—sweets for the sweet.

The Pipe Bit: Glossary #2: Cutting Room

By Chris Rentner

          One of the more obscure facets of pipe tobacco is how a given component of a blend is cut.  The cut of a tobacco is important due to how it affects the burning qualities and aesthetics of a blend.

          The most common cut found in pipe tobacco is the ribbon cut, also known as long cut and sometimes shag cut.  Ribbon cut is the narrow, thin, shoelace-width cut that you’ll find in some respect in nearly all pipe tobacco blends, and in cigarette tobacco.  It burns very easily due to its thinness and length, but can burn a bit too quickly for some smokers.  The ribbon cut is also very common in Cavendish blends, where the tobacco is pressed, flavored, and cut thin for easy puffing.  Uhle’s  blends with ribbon cut tobacco include Big Dipper and Black Stoker.

           Flake cut tobacco looks a bit like a thin chip of wood (Flake is also a type of blend, which I’ll get to in a future Pipe Bit Glossary).  A very light, flat cut, it slows burning a bit and gives a blend the visual appeal of a dash of color, as yellow Virginia is most commonly cut into flakes.  The broader plane on this cut also adds more flavor than a ribbon cut, as there is more surface area to burn.  Uhle’s  Pride O’ Wisconsin uses a flake-cut Virginia.

         Like a flake cut, cube cut slows burning but has even more surface area than a flake.  So, it adds even more flavor and provides a leisurely smoke.  I enjoy it most in its unaltered state, unflavored, from a quality burley.  The flavor and subtleties of a burley are truly brought out in this cut.  This is the most difficult cut to produce of the three cuts, needing special pressing and cutting equipment and many layers of burley to produce a cube.  Cube cut burley is in Uhle’s Crushed White Burley, Perfection Plug Burley, 255 and 300.

           Take time to notice how your blend is cut, and the burning qualities.  The sum—and shape—of the parts make up the whole.

The Pipe Bit Little Bit: Pipes in Music Videos

     The only two music videos I can think of that have pipes in them are R.E.M.’s Shiny Happy People and Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start The Fire.  Any others?  And for extra credit, any performers in music videos smoking a pipe?  Neither of the above videos have the artist with a pipe, only actors in the videos.

The Pipe Bit: Glossary #1: Fried Egg, Scrambled Egg

          

By Chris Rentner

     Every occupation and subculture, be it medicine or knitting, has its own jargon.  Although specialized terms may help a given field’s expert in communication, clarity is more useful.  In this spirit, here’s the first in an occasional series defining pipe tobacco jargon.

            The two overall categories for pipe tobacco are Aromatic and English.  Aromatic, strictly, means pipe tobacco with added flavoring.  English blends have no flavoring added; they rely on the natural taste of the component tobaccos.  So for example, a cherry-flavored blend is an aromatic; that same blend, minus the cherry or any other added flavors, is an English.

            Picture two eggs.  Fry the first egg in a pan (cooking is a process, but doesn’t add any flavors not already from the egg).  Don’t even add butter.  Just fry the egg and have it plain, to enjoy the pure eggy goodness.  This is an English egg.

            Scramble the second egg.  Put in a nice pat of butter and gently mix the egg with some cream and, oh, some shredded Colby-Jack cheese.  And put some chives and a bit of roasted red pepper in too, if you please.  Cook and serve up your aromatic egg:  The added flavors make this different from your plain English egg.

            The pan used for your eggs stands in for the processing of tobacco.  Pipe tobaccos, depending on type, are dried, steamed, pressed, stoved or undergo many other processes.  But the processing of the tobacco has nothing to do with the English or aromatic quality of the blend; only the flavoring or lack of flavoring.

            Enjoy your Wild Cherry (aromatic) or Bishop’s Move (English).  And never put an egg in your pipe.  Unless it’s hardboiled.